Yes, I almost went my first week without sending a blog – Part of me is thinking… don’t stress too much because you will get into legalism… and this is true. But another part of me knows I’m dealing with a disconnect right now… I’m not in a great place… I’m falling into some old habits.
Why? what happened? I’ve got to get back to the basics of what God has been teaching me.
Ok, let me get my circumstantial complaints out real quick, then I will get down to the actual issue at hand. We all have these circumstantial things going on. We need to recognize them, identify the deception in them, find the root issue and turn back to the ONE true solution for all of it – His Truth and Trusting in it!
Here goes … as shallow or embarrassing as it may seem…but I’m committed to being transparent and determined not to let anything stand in the way of my freedom in Christ. THE CIRCUMSTANCE: I’m growing by the day and it’s driving me bonkers! Eight more weeks to go before we meet sweet baby girl Michaud. And I’m wishing the time away.
I’m obsessed, yes… I STILL am… with weight gain and want my due date to be NOW because I don’t want to gain another pound (How messed up is that?)
My fixation on food is out of control – I need the “I’m pregnant, I can eat this” excuse to leave and quickly! The Holiday season is upon us and it’s just going to get worse! Yikes!
My body is forcing me to be still. I miss my exercise… how it enhances my mood. It’s been my “God Time.” I haven’t been able to run for 2 1/2 months now and even walking now is becoming painful or another activity I’m having to give up. This is really hard for me.
This circumstance is beginning to pull me inward and away from God
THE ACTUAL ISSUE: I’m so busy teetering between two extremes that are NOT from God, that I’m choosing NOT to glorify Him and live in His freedom.
I’m giving into the cravings of the flesh (pure indulgence) and the lie “I have an excuse and only for a short time longer – so … ENJOY it while you can!”
I’m giving into people pleasing; Obsessed, because I don’ t want to appear weak in this area, I don’t want to be embarrassed by my size, I want to appear to have this area of my life “together.” Basically, I’m choosing to see myself the way the world does or they way Satan makes me feel the world does; instead of the way I truly am – Beautiful in God’s eyes.
There is NO room for God and his plan with all of this clouding my judgement.
<sup class="crossreference" value="(D)”> THE SOLUTION: So what are my Basics I’m speaking of?
Meditating on God’s Loves for me – It’s bigger than ANY circumstance and lie
Speaking God’s Word against negative thoughts and feelings (Reading through my collection of Bible Verses that bring life to my bones)
Refusing any thoughts of condemnation or deception no matter what package they come in
“I am good enough IN Christ – not just my inner self, but also my appearance.”
“I don’t have to be “exercising” to have my God time – I can do it physically being still.”
Seeking His presence and a Kingdom Perspective.
What is really important right now?
What is He trying to teach me through this trial?
Get my focus off of myself and onto my calling – Being a light and walking in love. “Never mind what is going on around me, WHO can I bless today?”
Listen to the Holy Spirit’s Guidance:
Verse He brought to mind: 1 Cor 6:19-20 Do you not know that your bodies are temples<sup class="crossreference" value="(A)”> of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;<sup class="crossreference" value="(B)”> you were bought at a price.<sup class="crossreference" value="(C)”> Therefore honor God with your bodies.
What I’m going to do with it? My new motto I will speak until I feel it, believe it and act on it – “I WILL SACRIFICE THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD (over-indulgence) FOR MY GOD!”
And I will embrace even the bad days as God takes me through this growing and stretching process.